Day 1194 Gratitude

 

Weddings and funerals have a way of bringing family together like no other events. We’d all agree weddings are much better, but here we were, saying our goodbyes to Tim’s brother, many of us wearing his favorite sports team gear in his honor. Yes—he would have loved this. Not everyone was willing, of course; the Jets fans refused to let Patriots clothing touch their skin, something Tom would have respected! I’m not a football fan at all, but I borrowed something for the day and went with it.

The day was filled with speeches, stories, and toasts to a life well lived and to a man known for his smile, kindness, and questionable taste in music (although he and I could have shared a playlist). My heart breaks for my sister-in-law, whose daily life will never be the same. Family and friends become essential during times like these; hard moments require a lot of love.

Tom always said he didn’t want people to be sad when he died—he wanted them to celebrate. And so we did. Tim, on the other hand, insists he wants everyone crying when he goes. He’s told me more than once that I shouldn’t date or marry again unless I promise to remind any future partner daily that he’s second fiddle to Tim. We’ve discussed all matters of life and death, even though he’s convinced he’ll live forever.

I only hope we continue to live each day to the fullest for as long as we can. I’m not one to let the grass grow under my feet, especially as life seems to speed up with age… and what a life it’s been. Tom wanted celebration, Tim wants somber—I fall somewhere in the middle. Ultimately, the way we leave this world is out of our hands, a reminder of how little control we truly have.

One thing we can control is how we treat others—with kindness, love, understanding, and appreciation. To the people in my life who bring me joy every day: thank you.

In the end, loss has a way of sharpening our gratitude for the present. May we honor those we’ve loved by living boldly, loving deeply, and showing up for one another while we’re still here.

“The highest tribute to the dead is not grief but gratitude.” ~Thornton Wilder