TMI

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I finally got sprung from the hospital...but not until almost 5:30! What the heck? Once you go in, it sure is tough to get out!

Apparently, I alarmed a lot of my friends by writing about being in the ER. Didn't you all read the part where I said I was fine?

So...what happened?

For a couple of weeks, my right eye had been twitching. I chalked it up to too much computer time or just being tired. Then, while I was in the shower, the entire right side of my face went into a spasm. It completely freaked me out, but it only lasted about a minute, so I convinced myself it was just some random fluke...until it happened again the next day.

Was I having a stroke?

You probably don't want to follow me for medical advice. Ironically, I'm actually pretty good when it comes to everyone else, but when it comes to myself, not so much.

Instead of heading straight to the ER, I went to work. Once I got there, I texted Betsy and asked her to bring me some aspirin. My brilliant medical plan was that if I was having a mini stroke, I'd just fix it with an over-the-counter aspirin.

Thankfully, Betsy knows me well. She showed up in record time carrying a baggie filled with just about every over-the-counter pain reliever imaginable. By then, though, I had spoken with a friend who's a doctor, and he strongly advised me to get myself to the emergency room immediately.

When I told Betsy what was going on, she looked at me and said, "Maybe this isn't the best time to talk about the Mahjong league we want to start."

I swear, she can make me laugh even during a medical emergency.

Naturally, I finished all my work first, which took much longer than it probably should have, and then finally made my way to the ER, where the testing began fast and furious.

CT scans. MRI. EKG. EEG. It seemed like they were determined to rule out everything under the sun.

Thankfully, every test came back looking good.

The catch? They wanted to keep me overnight for observation.

I told Tim to go out and enjoy the evening. There wasn't much point in both of us sitting in a hospital room on a beautiful summer night. He asked if he should at least look sad while he was at the beach club. Trying to come up with a story that wouldn't worry everyone, he ended up telling people I was "at another function."

You've got to love him.

Donna showed up first thing the next morning with coffee, a morning bun, and a much-needed visit.

After a long day and night of being poked, prodded, monitored, and having two Zoom appointments with a neurologist, I finally got a diagnosis: Hemifacial Spasm.

Of course, that immediately gave all of my friends something new to type into ChatGPT.

From everything I've been told, the most effective treatment is Botox...once I actually get an appointment with a neurologist, which, apparently, could take four to six months.

Now I'm left wondering if they'll throw in a little extra Botox while they're at it. Maybe even out both sides of my face? Smooth out around the eyes?

A girl can ask.

So how did I finally escape the hospital?

Not easily.

I waited...and waited...and waited.

Meanwhile, all of my friends were gathering for our Italian dinner night at the yacht club, wondering if I'd make it. The nurse told me I could get dressed and that I was just waiting for the doctor to stop by and sign my discharge papers.

I figured I'd be out within an hour.

One hour turned into two.

Two turned into three.

Three turned into four.

Finally, I walked down to the nurses' station and announced that I couldn't wait any longer and was packing up to leave. I'm sure I looked like a full-blown Karen by that point, but I didn't care. I had already told them I had dinner plans!

Miraculously, within two minutes, the doctor appeared.

We chatted for a few minutes while he told me everything I already knew, signed the paperwork, and just like that...I was free.

Finally.

I'm not exactly sure where I go from here other than waiting for my neurology appointment. In the meantime, I'm sure my army of armchair physician friends will continue sending me every article, diagnosis, and treatment suggestion they can find.

Tim and I eventually made it to the yacht club, late, but greeted with hugs, drinks, food, and friends who had thoughtfully saved us seats. The band was fantastic, the music was just what I needed, and after spending the previous 24 hours under fluorescent hospital lights, there was no better medicine than sitting outside on the deck on a beautiful summer evening, surrounded by people who care about you.

So that's my exciting medical update. I'm officially taking applications for a neurologist with an opening before Christmas, and if Botox is truly in my future, I fully intend to ask if they can "accidentally" erase a few wrinkles while they're working on the facial spasms. If you're going to make the trip, you might as well make it worthwhile!

And for my friend who's away on vacation.... this update was for you, so go back to lounging on the beach and don't worry about anything here at home! ...but thanks for checking in. xo #DoNotDisturb - You've earned it. 

"Every day may not be good, but there is something good in every day." — Alice Morse Earle