Love

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It was a day filled with ups and downs... both reminding me just how lucky I am.

I found out that one of my dearest friends had lost her husband... unimaginable. The news felt like a punch to the stomach. I could feel only a fraction of the pain she must be in, and all I could think was how badly I wished I could do something, anything, to make her pain stop.

Life is just puzzling. How do some people live to be 100 while others are taken so young? We'd all like to think we can somehow control the outcome with diet, exercise, Blue Zones, or maybe even a little witchcraft... but the truth is, death seems to come on its own terms, no matter what we do.

Still reeling from the news, I set off to meet up with Dawn, who's visiting Rhode Island... finally! As I walked in to meet her, I couldn't help but think back to the time her own husband died. I remember it all too well. I had booked a plane ticket to go see her, knowing he only had days left. He died the day before I arrived, so thankfully, I was still able to be there for her, caring for her in the way only an old friend can.

When I arrived at the restaurant and hugged Dawn, memories of both love and pain came swirling back. I held on to her a little longer than I probably should have, but somehow, I just didn't want to let go.

If I could wave a magic wand, I'd cast a spell that none of the people I love would ever have to experience that kind of pain. But then I started to wonder... is the depth of our pain somehow connected to the depth of our love and joy? If it is, then maybe, as painful as it can be, we should also be thankful that we've been lucky enough to love someone so deeply that losing them leaves such a profound mark on our hearts.

We're all vulnerable to the crapshoot of life and death, and none of us really knows how much time we're given. So maybe the best we can do is embrace each day as fully as possible. Hold on a little longer. Say the things that matter. Shower the people in our lives with love and affection, and never take for granted a single minute spent with them.

Because in the end, maybe that's the real reminder: the pain of loss is the price we pay for having loved so deeply. And while none of us can control how long we're given, we can make sure that the people we love know, without a doubt, just how much they mean to us while we're still here to tell them.

“Grief is the price we pay for love.” — Queen Elizabeth II