Spiderman

"Come join us for a sunset cruise on our yacht… it’ll be fun!” they said.

Honestly, I was perfectly happy right where I was, lounging around in my sweatpants and teaching a few friends how to play Mahjong. Tim got the call about the boat ride, and I happily sent him off without a second thought. A relaxing evening at home sounded pretty darn good to me!

Well, about an hour later, the phone rang. Apparently, they all wanted me to join them and were waiting to pick me up. I'm not entirely sure if it was me they wanted or the liquor they asked me to pack up and bring along, but either way, against my better judgment, I agreed to join the party.

They told me which dock to meet them at, and it wasn't until I arrived that we all discovered the one little problem. And by little, I mean a ten-foot-high fence problem...maybe 12'...but a year from now it will be 15'.

There, stretching straight across the dock, was a chain-link fence, complete with big signs warning people not to enter, restricted area, and security camera notices to make sure the message was crystal clear. No trespassing, folks! And just in case anyone thought they could sneak around the side, the gate jutted out at least three feet over the water. They had thought of everything!

I passed the cooler around the side of the gate to Tim, who was waiting on the other side, and then tried to explain to everyone that there was absolutely no way I was getting over that thing. I was ready to call it a night and tell them to go on without me.

But nooooo. Tim, standing safely on the other side of the fence, looked at me, looked at the gate, and encouraged me to climb it.

Seriously? Who did he think I was? Spider-Man? A professional cat burglar?  A lunatic?

Apparently, for one foolish moment, I decided I could be all three.

I took off my shoes and socks, figuring bare feet would give me a better grip on the chain links. And then, at 61 years old, I began scaling that giant fence like someone who had completely lost her mind. One hand, one foot, another hand… up I went!

Once I swung one leg over the top, I thought I was practically home free. That is, until my sweatshirt got snagged, forcing me to pause mid-climb and untangle myself. Because, of course, simply committing my first crime at 61 wasn't enough. Now I had to save my new sweatshirt. 

But somehow, I managed to free myself, swing the other leg over, and start making my way down the other side. Before I knew it, I was halfway down and jumping straight into Tim's waiting arms.

Mission accomplished!

All the while, I was shaking my head in disbelief. What on earth had I just done? At 61 years old, I had officially become a trespasser! I could practically see the video playing on the 11 o'clock news: Local Woman Scales Security Fence in Bizarre Dockside Incident! There I'd be, caught on camera, barefoot and dangling from a fence, with my sweatshirt snagged for dramatic effect.

Naturally, my imagination went into overdrive. I'd be arrested, miss work, and somehow find myself embarking on a whole new life of crime. One minute you're teaching Mahjong in your sweatpants, and the next you're a wanted woman. Talk about a change of plans!

With my heart still pounding, we made our way to the end of the dock, where the yacht was waiting for us. And, because apparently climbing a ten-foot fence wasn't enough excitement for one evening, we then had to jump from the dock to get onto the boat. Another challenge, another successful mission!

Finally, I was aboard, and all was right with the world. The sunset was spectacular, the water was calm, the music was playing, and good friends were all around. It was one of those beautiful evenings that makes you grateful you got off the couch and said yes to an unexpected adventure.

Of course, I was still wondering whether the sunset was worth a criminal record. Part of me kept picturing police cars waiting for me when we returned to shore, ready to haul me away for my daring dockside escape.

Thankfully, when we finished our cruise, we returned to the yacht's actual dock, tied up properly, and stepped off like perfectly respectable citizens. We piled into Tim's car, and when he dropped me off at my own car, there wasn't a police officer in sight.

Not one!

Of course, I probably shouldn't get too comfortable. I missed the 11 o'clock news, so who's to say they aren't still looking for me? Perhaps my mug shot is already circulating. Maybe the authorities are reviewing the security footage as we speak. And if they do find me, I'm hoping they'll be so impressed by my climbing skills at 61 that they'll decide to let me off with a warning. A girl can dream!

Looking back, I have to laugh. I started the evening perfectly content to stay home in my sweatpants, and somehow ended up scaling a security fence, risking arrest, and boarding a yacht for a sunset cruise. You just never know where a simple phone call might lead!

Apparently we're never too old to do stupid things! But no one will ever say I lived a boring life! 

“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all.” — Helen Keller